


Never Let Me Go

by smallstarfox



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst and Feels, Cold Weather, F/F, Homelessness, Memory Loss, Panic, hobo!13, human nature au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:21:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23953753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smallstarfox/pseuds/smallstarfox
Summary: The Doctor has been missing for over a year, and things have moved on. But one day, Yasmin Khan is called to a shelter in regards to a possibly traumatised woman. She never expected to find the Doctor - Jane - with no memories of who she was, and an inate fear of her. No matter how often they cross paths, Yaz doesn't lose the desire to try and fix whatever has happened to Jane.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 12
Kudos: 45





	Never Let Me Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [timedork](https://archiveofourown.org/users/timedork/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY LORD AND SAVIOUR  
> The whole idea of the hobo!au belongs to @timedork  
> I am just here to provide a little snippet into the world as a gift to a wonderful human

Crisp white snow covered the ground, crunching underfoot as thick plumes of air came from her mouth. A snowstorm had passed through the area the night before, leaving the world an eerie shell of its former self. It was serene, peaceful, but bitter and burning cold. It just so happened to pass that her week of couch surfing and desperately trying to find permanent shelter had fallen short, and there was nowhere left in the city for her to go. The shelters were full, and not a soul around was there for her to even ask for a shred of kindness. She wrapped her arms tighter around her body, shoulders juddering violently as the shivers took hold of every muscle in her body. Underneath her arms, she swore her fingers were turning blue from the cold, lips numb and eyes barely managing to keep themselves open. The only hint of imaginary warmth came from the golden glow of the streetlights that illuminated her show ambling walk. There was comfort in the light, something that she couldn’t quite explain. It made her feel safe, secure. Home. The further she walked through the streets, the more she felt the world closing in on her. If she didn’t find somewhere to be soon...she didn’t want to think about that. Not now.

“Bloody...stupid...cold...weather...can...go do...one…”

Hidden black ice caused her to slip and stumble, her saving grace coming in the form of a wide sycamore, whose trunk was just in the right place for her to grab hold of before her face met the frosty pavement below. But her weak and weary arms weren’t strong enough to hold her forever, and soon she slid down anyway. Knees down in the snow, the sharp cold permeated her thin clothes and settled deep into her bones. It was more painful than any of the cuts and bruises she had gained whilst on the streets. Even more so than the time the paramedics had to be called out. Scrambling back up, unable to move her arms again to wipe the snow away, she carried on walking still, teeth now chattering inside her skull and causing a racket inside her already addled brain. A shirt, a hoddie, a thick coat, a hat, fingerless gloves, jeans...she was dressed up almost perfectly for the weather thanks to the kindness of strangers, and yet it was doing absolutely nothing for her at all. Tears started to sting her eyes as the ghastly wind started to pick up, dragging up fragile flakes of snow across the road like a snowglobe.

“Need...to...lie down…need...sleep...”

Her shoulders were sore from how tense they were, her neck screamed and every part of her just wanted to give over to the cold and fall down where she was. But, what good would that do anyone? All it would do was add to the statistics. Nobody would care. She had no idea what unknown force was somehow keeping her going, but as she passed between a line of takeaways and a pub, something caught her the attention of her blurry eyes. Something strange was off into the distance. Some kind of box? Telephone boxes didn’t exactly strike her as something usual - if they even still existed at all - but she swore she had seen a green police box at one point. Except, this one was blue. Bigger. Wider. It looked almost monolithic. Whatever it was, it screamed sanctuary. Stiff and tired legs dragged her body ever closer to the strange object, and she could almost feel herself smiling at the sight of it. She didn’t even notice that there appeared to be no snow around it, save for on the roof, just that it would be a dry place to hide in. She almost collapsed at the doors, barely holding herself upright as numb fingers desperately tried to push at the doors. Except, nothing happened. No matter how much of her body weight she tried to shift, the doors didn’t budge. Not even tugging at the small handles did anything. Whatever the police box was, it was locked tight.

“No...no, no...no, please...I just want...I’m so cold...please...please…”

Tears slowly began to fall down her cheeks as she pressed her fists into the wood, head falling against the doors as she choked out gasps through her sobs. She was so tired, so cold, she needed to rest. Every movement burnt as she tried to lift her hoods over the top of her knitted hat, body lowering down to the ground as she found a spot at the side of the box that was close to a tall wall. She curled herself up as tightly and into as small a space as she could, head against the frozen wood as her tear streaked, eyes closed and she tried to settle her body enough to find sleep. Even as the shivers gradually began to subside from her tension, her mind continued to race. Why was she still trying? What was the point in carrying on? She couldn’t remember anything at all, and she had sold the only things that meant anything to her just so she could eat. Images of the strange watch and the weird metal tube flickered behind her eyes and she whined into the fluffy ruff of her hood. But then, as quickly as all of her fear and anxieties came, they started to subside. Being propped up against the box felt...safe. Like the golden glow of the streetlights. Why did she feel safe? Her mind gently began to drift into the dark unknown of sleep, leaving her with faint images of the girl. That same girl. The one who looked like the police officer. What was her name again? Why did she also feel like home? She was nobody, just someone her mind was using as a distraction. But her smile...her beaming smile and the warmth in her eyes as she called out. Her voice was static, broken, but it was such a comfort to her. So much so, that she was soon sound asleep.

_ 'Come home to me...to us...we need you…' _

* * *

  
  


“It should be illegal to move the homeless....Who thought this was an okay thing to do, Ryan?”

“Dunno man, it’s your job. Not mine. ‘Sides, thought you said you were gonna use this time to look for what's-her-name. You know, the-”

“Jane, Ryan. Her name’s Jane. And I know it’s the Doctor. It can’t not be her. I mean, I’ve found the TARDIS. She had her sonic. I need to find her again and talk. But...she always runs away. You’re sure you and Graham haven’t seen her around either? You can't miss her, it's the Doctor.”

“Mate, it’s been three months now. I’d tell you if I saw her. Nothing round the TARDIS either. Promise. Look, just do your shift. Y’can come here when you’re done. We can have a movie night. Might make Graham stop worrying too. What d’ya say? I’ll get the caramel popcorn. That's still your fav, right?"

“Alright, fine. I guess I could do with not being home for a bit. Thanks Ryan. I’ll see you sometime after 1am. I should be done by then, doubt I'm gonna be dealing with anyone in this weather.”

"See ya soon Yaz. Be safe, yeah?"

* * *

All she had to do was make it through three more shifts. Three more night shifts and then her sergeant had promised her she would go on actually serious assignments. It still amazed her that it had been a year since she had completed her probation. A year and a half since she had last seen the Doctor. Or, so she had thought. The day she had been called to the shelter had thrown her entire life out of sync, and suddenly she was back to being an obsessive paranoid wreck. Only the Doctor could have that effect on her.  Except, the woman she found wasn’t the Doctor. She might have looked like her, sounded like her, but it wasn’t her. Her eyes were dull and lifeless, no longer full of hope and wonder, her voice shallow and broken. Her hair had grown out beyond its usual shapely mess, hidden underneath a blue and white beanie. She had no idea who this ‘Jane’ was, but that didn’t mean she was ever going to stop helping her. Even if the world declared that Yasmin Khan was clinically insane, she knew in her heart that the Doctor was there. Somewhere. Waiting for her. Wanting her to help her. That's what she was going to do. If she could ever find Jane again. The last time she had seen her was months ago, after a call of theft. She had chased her down the street for what felt like miles, but then she had disappeared. No amount of looking in her usual haunts proved useful. It was if she had just vanished again. Leaving Yaz alone. Every night she had been on the homeless watch, she prayed to the stars that she would find her again.

Her turf had been given; a section just outside of the city centre that had a park. It was also the place where the TARDIS was. It was like the world was taunting her. Forcing her to be in the one place she knew full well that Jane would never be. Why would she? How could she even know what the TARDIS was if she had to be given a name? Yaz tried to shake all of the thoughts of the fragile blonde out of her mind. She had a job to do. Her boots left thick prints in the snow as she walked, eyes constantly scanning the area around her. The amount of homeless people outside had actually dropped in the snowstorm, but word on the street was that there wasn’t enough space for everyone and so some were still sleeping rough. She hated how she had to move them away from where they were sleeping. More often than not, they weren’t in the way or hurting anyone. All they wanted to do was sleep and try to keep alive. That was it. The world was mad, and she knew that the Doctor would think exactly the same. In fact, she would be the first out with blankets or offering them somewhere to sleep on the TARDIS.

It felt strange doing her patrol on her own, but her partner - Officer Rashid - had fallen ill and there was nobody else free to give her a hand. Yaz twisted her fingers inside her pockets anxiously as she drew ever closer to the spot where the TARDIS was parked. She could feel it calling out to her, so faintly, tugging at her mind and her heart. Whatever had happened, it was bad enough that the TARDIS could barely open its own doors when she first found it standing there. No light, no sound, nothing. It was like she was grieving. Or broken. Or both, probably. Goosebumps pricked her skin as the wind picked up, whistling through the trees and breaking through the deathly silent streets. As Yaz made her way between the shops, she paused. Eyes narrowed, tried to focus. What was that next to the TARDIS? She had been there earlier in the day and nothing was there when she left. Had someone dumped rubbish bags? Feeling a twinge of anger, Yaz started to move again at a faster pace, but stopped again when she realised it wasn’t bags. It was a person. Someone was sleeping by the TARDIS.

“No...no, they can’t. It’s not safe. Why did it have to be there?!”

Taking her hands out of her pockets, Yaz readied herself to get the stranger to move. She had no idea if she was feeling possessive, frightened, or annoyed. Whoever it was, they were fast asleep and curled up so tightly that she couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman. Yaz crouched down and slowly began to creep closer, one arm outstretched and gently resting against the person’s shoulder. A gentle nudge did nothing, and so she tried to call out to them.

“Uh, excuse me? Hello? I’m sorry, But I-”

Her gentle nudges caused the person to uncurl slightly and grumble, but not stir. Now that Yaz could get a glimpse of skin...her whole world stopped. Pale skin - deathly pale - but marked with scattered freckles. A wisp of blonde. A hint of blue wool. No, no it couldn’t be. How could it be her? How had she even found her way to...to the…

So taken aback by the turn of events, Yaz scrambled back and held her hand close to her chest. She gripped through her fleece jacket, her vest, felt the hard hammering under her fingertips. Brown eyes darted between the TARDIS and the woman, trying to make sense of it all. Had she been called to it too? Had the TARDIS managed to reach out to her, and draw her home somehow? It was impossible. It had to be. Except it wasn’t, and Jane was right there in front of her.

“J-Jane…”

That caught her attention. Before she could open her mouth again, Yaz watched as Jane suddenly shot upright. Her eyes were wide with panic and fear, lips turning a terrifying shade of purple as her mouth open and closed rapidly. Both of them were up on their feet in an instant, although Jane stumbled several times as her tired and frozen body refused to cooperate with her. She made a move to turn and run - again - but Yaz was faster. Warmer. More focused. With an outstretched arm she caught hold of the sleeve of her coat and held on tightly, forcing her to stay still. It pained her to practically restrain her, but she needed to talk to her. Finally. Something. Just, she needed to hear her voice again. She needed to be sure she was still real.

“Jane, wait!”

“N-no, please...just...let me go...please...I-I’ll go somewhere else I just...I’m...I’m sorry…officer.”

Jane tried to pull away, but she was too weak to do anything by gently jostle Yaz. She whined in frustration, although she soon slouched and gave in to her predicament. She kept her eyes turned to the floor, face shrouded by the shadow of her hood, not caring to give Yaz any notice. Huffing a soft sigh, Yaz let go of her sleeve and took a step closer, her heart aching as she watched Jane flinch away from her. How had it come to this?

“Yaz. My name’s Yaz. Do you remember? Do you remember what this is?”

Yaz pointed towards the TARDIS, kept her body as open and as unthreatening as she possibly could. Slowly, Jane lifted her head, followed the direction of her hand and stared at the police box. Yaz held on with bated breath, waited, prayed. Every second felt like torture, as if a knife was twisting in her chest, and then everything came crashing down around her before she even had a chance to process it. It was so hard for her to catch wind of the word ‘no’ before Jane found some hidden energy reserves deep inside herself and started to run again. She ran, and ran, and ran, tears falling down into the snow as a sharp pain threatened to tear her skull apart. She couldn’t remember anything. Why was that police woman asking her again? What did she want with her? All Yaz could do was stand in the snow - alone - watching as the woman she once adored more than the stars themselves ran away from her once more. In her frustrated heartbreak, she balled up her hand and slammed it into the doors of the TARDIS before walking off into the darkest hours of the night, throat clenching as she tried to fight back her own tears.

* * *

_ She sat there, on the floor, crossed legged and looking out into the vast expanse of space. There were bright silver stars, a purple-blue nebula floating around them, enveloping them in a secret pocket of calm. Yaz watched her, from the other side of the console, heard her mutter softly as a hand came to stroke the doorframe of the TARDIS. It was a peaceful moment she felt she was intruding on, but as she turned to go to bed, she heard the softest voice call out to her. _

_ ‘Sit with me?’ _

_ So, she did. She sat with the Doctor, watching space and time move effortlessly around them. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. _

_ ‘It feels so much more like home with you here, you know…’ _

_ The phrasing caught her off guard, and Yaz wanted to answer, but she was too busy getting lost in how the stars were mirrored in the Doctor’s eyes. Her soft smile was all she needed, and so she hummed in response. As the two of them drifted back to mutable silence, Yaz felt the Doctor shift closer. Soon, her head was resting against her shoulder, and she sighed in content. This was where Yaz wanted to be, for the rest of time. Home. With the Doctor. _


End file.
